In what was arguably the biggest non-news item of last week:
It’s official: President Barack Obama will clinch the Democratic nomination for president Tuesday [April 24], ending a low-key primary race that many Americans probably didn’t realize was happening. [Note: Some  called this result nearly a month ago.]
Obama is certain to reach the 2,778 delegates he needs to secure his party nod for a second time when five states vote on Tuesday. He has won almost every delegate so far, with a few exceptions in some Southern states that won’t vote Democratic in the fall anyway.
Yep, believe it or don’t, there were others  in the running – 5, to be exact (or 6, if you count one who withdrew before the primaries began). Among them, Vermin Supreme, “performance artist and perennial candidate,” according to Wikipedia. His platform? “Free ponies for all Americans” and “mandatory toothbrushing.”
Now go brush your teeth.